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In a way, he came back home to her. But she had always distanced herself, not shown any interest in getting involved with him romantically, always preferring to be his friend.He'd tried, so many times to tell her how he felt, but when the time came to speak of his love he pulled back. He was afraid that she would reject him, and he didn't know what he would do if she did. He lived hoping that someday, she would love him too. If he lost that hope, he wouldn't be able to survive.Maybe, today, he really was coming home to her. Perhaps by some miracle this time she might have come to understand his love for her.He looked out his window as the aircraft descended; his heart filled with hope. Hope that she would accept his love.What can I do to make you love me?What can I do to make you care?What can I say to make you feel this?What can I do to get you there?She stared restlessly at the list of arrivals, impatient for his plane to land. She sat down again, her hands clenched. She made her. There were little blips of porn pictures I'd seen on the web, descriptions in stories I'd downloaded, fantasies about the best-looking girl in my class, and wondering when and how I might see a real girl naked and when I was going to get laid for the first time. And, even if I wasn't thinking about any of these things, I'd get a hard-on anyway, for no apparent reason, and then I'd be thinking about sex again.On this day, I just plain felt good, despite the perpetual undercurrent of sexual frustration, which I'd learned to push aside as background noise. Mom and I had a good life together. I didn't remember Dad. He'd left when I was two. All Mom ever said about him was that they had been college sweethearts. Mom became pregnant with me when she was nineteen (nine-teen), and they got married. The deal they made was that after he finished his degree, she could get hers. But as soon as he took his MBA, he left. Mom never looked back. She set her sights forward and went on with her own.
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